...alll you gotta do is close your eyes

Wednesday, 30 July 2008




Today I would like to talk to you about the past, present and future, and as the eldest daughter, I represent the past.


Most of you know the difficulties I had when I was growing up, but there was also a fun side and every Friday night, I stayed with my Nana and Mum would dress up in all her finery and Dad would take her out into 60's West End London. I remember my mum looked beautiful and smelled gorgeous.


Mum always wore this great big soft Beaver Lamb fur coat which was the height of fashion at the time, and when they returned, my mum would hug me and I'd bury my face into its softness which was doused with a heady mixture of perfume, cigarettes, the memory of those nights.


My sister, Jayne, is the present, Jayne had the difficult job of looking after our aging and ailing mum who could be cantankerous and down right stubborn, but through all this, Jayne has been marvellous holding down a full time high powered job and looking after mum relentlessly. Whatever mum needed or wanted, Jayne would be there for her, loving mum and giving mum the support she needed.


And what of the future?


The future is represented by her Grand-daughter Sarah, who mum was so proud of and overjoyed that Sarah had got into University and was making the most of her life and was happy.


Jayne, Sarah and myself loved our mum and grandma in many different ways, and although maybe sometimes it was difficult, I know mum loved us all back and did whatever she could for us. Most of all she wanted Jayne, Sarah and me to be happy and Candi the budgie too.


One of the things Mum said the last time she was in hospital was "I must polish the moon" so I leave her to it and I will always have this vision of mum with her dusting cloth polishing the Sea of Tranquility until it gleams.


Wherever our Mum is now, she is completely at rest and out of pain and has found peace at last with her sister, Evelyn and her best friend Sylvie and Nana and Grandpa.


So shine on, Mum, Jayne, Sarah and me will love you forever.


Do not stand at my bed and weep, I am not there I do not sleep, I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the softly falling snow, Beautiful birds in homeward flight, I am the starshine of the night, I am in a quiet room and now with nature I'm in tune, So do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there, I have not died

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